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#Aerosmith armageddon movie movie#
* Having the gall to compete against "Deep Impact" a FAR superior (and infinitely more realistic) movie about the exact same thing. * The 'animal crackers' scene between Ben Affleck & Liv Tyler honestly, the most cringe-inducing love dialogue since 15 yr old Padme hit on a 9 year old Anakin. << You'd never guess we'd had ANY female astronauts or cosmonauts yet. This movie is about as progressive-minded as a mob at a witch burning. The only women we see are Liv Tyler (whose sole purposes are sulking-daughter and sex-toy) and a bunch of strippers in a club scene. So where the hell are the woman of importance in this movie? F**king nowhere. This hasn't been the way of NASA since the mid-'70s (when the first class of American female astronauts were graduated) and the Russians broke the gender barrier waaaay back in 1963 with the brave cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova. There are NO female astronauts, or mission specialists, or scientists or even drilling experts to be had ANYWHERE in the film. * Which brings me to the movie's TOTAL misogyny. << "But-but-but hat's not how we do things at. My wife's cousin is an engineer at NASA (he's worked there for over 40 years), and the movie's characterization of NASA engineers is about as accurate as Tia Tequila playing Jeanne d'Arc. Really? The guys who gave us the moon landings, Apollo Soyuz, a big chunk of the ISS, and the Voyager, Pioneer and Mars Rovers are all a bunch of anal-retentive, patent-stealing (the stolen drill technology) d!cks? let's just call 'em "Fat Stoopid Guy" and "Creepy Lizard Guy." Or Ren & Stimpy. << Oh yes, because men experiencing emotion is just hi -larious.īecause all of us fat guys are loud and obnoxious and act only on our most base appetites it's in our contracts. No disrespect to the late Michael Clarke Duncan (who was wonderful in "Green Mile" a far superior film), but in this movie I was hoping they'd get the game warden from "Jurassic Park" to put a stop to him.
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* The caricature-er, character of "Bear" (as played by the late Michael Clarke Duncan).įrom outrunning cops on a bike to his wild, adult-ADHD antics during his physical, I wanted to just shoot him full of animal tranquilizers and tell him to STFU already. We'd have years of warning, let alone a few days. Even in the '60s, this would've be highly unlikely. That would be comparable to the asteroid Ceres or Vesta coming at us with no warning. There is Hubble in orbit (yes, even back in the antiquated '90s), there are numerous coordinated deep sky survey efforts all over the world looking for nothing BUT asteroids. * "An asteroid the size of Texas" would've been spotted AGES ago. In the light of the catastrophic, faster-than-expected rise in climate changes around the world, those morons on the oil rig don't look too heroic these days, do they? Yeah, because trying to save what's left of our f**ked up ecosystem is such a pantywaist thing to do, right? F**k their 1st amendment rights to peaceful protest too, I suppose. The scene in question has our 'hero' Bruce Willis shooting golf balls at a peaceful Greenpeace protest at sea. * Speaking of creepy, we then have Steve Buscemi telling the formerly gun-toting Harry how f**kable his own daughter is. This scene is early on in the film and it's already giving me a deeply creepy incestuous vibe. Seriously?!? Attempted murder just for having sex with Harry's (clearly of legal age) daughter?!? * Bruce Willis' "Harry" taking a rifle and attempting to KILL Ben Affleck for sleeping with his daughter. Here are just SOME of the manifold reasons I absolutely loathe, despite and wish great harm to come to every existing print, DVD and blu ray of this movie: There was just WAAAAAAYYY too much weapons-grade stupid going on for me to sit still and keep quiet. This was (for me), the cinematic equivalent of water boarding. I tried (god knows I tried) to watch it yet again. Yesterday, "Armageddon" was playing on HBO (yes, I feel special now because I get HBO.